 . . . to see how she said it. . . . I flipped through the
book, finding the page I wanted easily. The corner was dog-eared from the many times Id stopped here.
Cathys a monster, but there were a few things she got right, I muttered. I read the lines quietly, mostly
to myself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and
he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger. I nodded, again to myself. I know
exactly what she means. And I know who I cant live without.

Edward took the book from my hands and flipped it across the room  it landed with a lightthud on my
desk. He wrapped his arms around my waist.

A small smile lit his perfect face, though worry still lined his forehead. Heathcliff had his moments, too,
he said. He didnt need the book to get it word perfect. He pulled me closer and whispered in my ear,
Icannot live without my life! Icannot live without my soul!

Yes, I said quietly. Thats my point.

Bella, I cant stand for you to be miserable. Maybe . . .

 No, Edward. Ive made a real mess of things, and Im going to have to live with that. But I know what
I want and what I need . . . and what Im going to do now.

What arewe going to do now?

I smiled just a bit at his correction, and then I sighed. We are going to go see Alice.

 Alice was on the bottom porch step, too hyper to wait for us inside. She looked about to break into a
celebration dance, so excited was she about the news she knew I was there to deliver.

Thank you, Bella! she sang as we got out of the truck.

Hold it, Alice, I warned her, lifting a hand up to halt her glee. Ive got a few limitations for you.

I know, I know, I know. I only have until August thirteenth at the latest, you have veto power on the
guest list, and if I go overboard on anything, youll never speak to me again.

Oh, okay. Well, yeah. You know the rules, then.

Dont worry, Bella, it will be perfect. Do you want to see your dress?

I had to take a few deep breaths.Whatever makes her happy, I said to myself.

Sure.

Alices smile was smug.

Um, Alice, I said, keeping the casual, unruffled tone in my voice. When did you get me a dress?

It probably wasnt much of a show. Edward squeezed my hand.

 Alice led the way inside, heading for the stairs. These things take time, Bella, Alice explained. Her tone
seemed . . . evasive. I mean, I wasntsure things were going to turn out this way, but there was a distinct
possibility. . . .

When? I asked again.

Perrine Bruyere has a waiting list, you know, she said, defensive now. Fabric masterpieces dont
happen overnight. If I hadnt thought ahead, youd be wearing something off the rack!

It didnt look like I was going to get a straight answer. Per  who?

Hes not a major designer, Bella, so theres no need to throw a hissy fit. Hes got promise, though, and
he specializes in what I needed.
Im not throwing a fit.

No, youre not. She eyed my calm face suspiciously. Then, as we walked into her room, she turned on
Edward.

You  out.

Why? I demanded.

Bella, she groaned. You know the rules. Hes not supposed to see the dress till the day of.

I took another deep breath. It doesnt matter to me. And you know hes already seen it in your head.
But if thats how you want it. . . .

 She shoved Edward back out the door. He didnt even look at her  his eyes were on me, wary, afraid
to leave me alone.

I nodded, hoping my expression was tranquil enough to reassure him.

Alice shut the door in his face.

All right! she muttered. Cmon.

She grabbed my wrist and towed me to her closet  which was bigger than my bedroom  and then
dragged me to the back corner, where a long white garment bag had a rack all to itself.

 She unzipped the bag in one sweeping movement, and then slipped it carefully off the hanger. She took a
step back, holding her hand out to the dress like she was a game show hostess.

Well? she asked breathlessly.

I appraised it for a long moment, playing with her a bit. Her expression turned worried.

Ah, I said, and I smiled, letting her relax. I see.

What do you think? she demanded.

It was myAnne of Green Gables vision all over again.

Its perfect, of course. Exactly right. Youre a genius.

She grinned. I know.

Nineteen-eighteen? I guessed.

More or less, she said, nodding. Some of it ismy design, the train, the veil. . . . She touched the
white satin as she spoke. The lace is vintage. Do you like it?

Its beautiful. Its just right for him.
But is it just right for you? she insisted.

Yes, I think it is, Alice. I think its just what I need. I know youll do a great job with this . . . if you can
keep yourself in check.

She beamed.

Can I see your dress? I asked.

She blinked, her face blank.

 Didnt you order your bridesmaid dress at the same time? I wouldnt want my maid of honor to wear
something off therack.  I pretended to wince in horror.

She threw her arms around my waist. Thank you, Bella!

How could you not see that one coming? I teased, kissing her spiky hair. Some psychic you are!

Alice danced back, and her face was bright with fresh enthusiasm. Ive got so much to do! Go play
with Edward. I have to get to work.

She dashed out of the room, yelling, Esme! as she disappeared.

I followed at my own pace. Edward was waiting for me in the hallway, leaning against the wood-paneled
wall.

That was very, very nice of you, he told me.

She seems happy, I agreed.

 He touched my face; his eyes  too dark, it had been so long since hed left me  searched my
expression minutely.

Lets get out of here, he suddenly suggested. Lets go to our meadow.

It sounded very appealing. I guess I dont have to hide out anymore, do I?

No. The danger is behind us.

He was quiet, thoughtful, as he ran. The wind blew on my face, warmer now that the storm had really
passed. The clouds covered the sky, the way they usually did.

 The meadow was a peaceful, happy place today. Patches of summer daisies interrupted the grass with
splashes of white and yellow. I lay back, ignoring the slight dampness of the ground, and looked for
pictures in the clouds. They were too even, too smooth. No pictures, just a soft, gray blanket.

Edward lay next to me and held my hand.

August thirteenth? he asked casually after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

That gives me a month till my birthday. I didnt want to cut it too close.
He sighed. Esme is three years older than Carlisle  technically. Did you know that?

I shook my head.

It hasnt made any difference to them.

 My voice was serene, a counterpoint to his anxiety. My age is not really that important. Edward, Im
ready. Ive chosen my life  now I want to start living it.

He stroked my hair. The guest list veto?

 I dont care really, but I . . . I hesitated, not wanting to explain this one. Best to get it over with. Im
not sure if Alice would feel the need to invite . . . a few werewolves. I dont know if . . . Jake would feel
like . . . like heshould come. Like thats the right thing to do, or that Id get my feelings hurt if he didnt.
He shouldnt have to go through that.

 Edward was quiet for a minute. I stared at the tips of the treetops, almost black against the light gray of
the sky.

Suddenly, Edward grabbed me around the waist and pulled me onto his chest.

Tell me why youre doing this, Bella. Why did you decide, now, to give Alice free reign?

I repeated for him the conversation I had with Charlie last night before Id gone to see Jacob.

 It wouldnt be fair to keep Charlie out of this, I concluded. And that means Ren?e and Phil. I might as
well let Alice have her fun, too. Maybe it will make the whole thing easier for Charlie if he gets his proper
goodbye. Even if he thinks its much too early, I wouldnt want to cheat him out of the chance to walk
me down the aisle. I grimaced at the words, then took another deep breath. At least my mom and dad
and my friends will know the best part of my choice, the most Im allowed to tell them. Theyll know I
chose you, and theyll know were together. Theyll know Im happy, wherever I am. I think thats the
best I can do for them.

Edward held my face, searching it for a brief time.

Deals off, he said abruptly.

What? I gasped. Youre backing out? No!

Im not backing out, Bella. Ill still keep my side of the bargain. But youre off the hook. Whatever you
want, no strings attached.

Why?

 Bella, I see what youre doing. Youre trying to make everyone else happy. And I dont care about
anyone elses feelings. I only needyou to be happy. Dont worry about breaking the news to Alice. Ill
take care of it. I promise she wont make you feel guilty.

But I 
 No. Were doing this your way. Because my way doesnt work. I call you stubborn, but look at what
Ive done. Ive clung with such idiotic obstinacy to my idea of whats best for you, though its only hurt
you. Hurt you so deeply, time and time again. I dont trust myself anymore. You can have happiness your
way. My way is always wrong. So. He shifted under me, squaring his shoulders. Were doing ityour
way, Bella. Tonight. Today. The sooner the better. Ill speak to Carlisle. I was thinking that maybe if we
gave you enough morphine, it wouldnt be so bad. Its worth a try. He gritted his teeth.

Edward, no 

He put his finger to my lips. Dont worry, Bella, love. I havent forgotten the rest of your demands.

His hands were in my hair, his lips moving softly  but very seriously  against mine, before I realized
what he was saying. What he was doing.

 There wasnt much time to act. If I waited too long, I wouldnt be able to remember why I needed to
stop him. Already, I couldnt breathe right. My hands were gripping his arms, pulling myself tighter to
him, my mouth glued to his and answering every unspoken question his asked.

I tried to clear my head, to find a way to speak.

He rolled gently, pressing me into the cool grass.

Oh, never mind!my less noble side exulted. My head was full of the sweetness of his breath.

 No, no, no,I argued with myself. I shook my head, and his mouth moved to my neck, giving me a
chance to breathe.

Stop, Edward. Wait. My voice was as weak as my will.

Why? he whispered into the hollow of my throat.

I labored to put some resolve into my tone. I dont want to do this now.

 Dont you? he asked, a smile in his voice. He moved his lips back to mine and made speaking
impossible. Heat coursed through my veins, burning where my skin touched his.

 I made myself focus. It took a great deal of effort just to force my hands to free themselves from his hair,
to move them to his chest. But I did it. And then I shoved against him, trying to push him away. I could
not succeed alone, but he responded as I knew he would.

He pulled back a few inches to look at me, and his eyes did nothing to help my resolve. They were
black fire. They smoldered.

Why? he asked again, his voice low and rough. I love you. I want you. Right now.

The butterflies in my stomach flooded my throat. He took advantage of my speechlessness.

Wait, wait, I tried to say around his lips.

Not for me, he murmured in disagreement.
Please? I gasped.

He groaned, and pushed himself away from me, rolling onto his back again.

We both lay there for a minute, trying to slow our breathing.

Tell me why not, Bella, he demanded. This had better not be about me.

Everything in my world was about him. What a silly thing to expect.

Edward, this is very important to me. Iam going to do this right.

Whos definition of right?

Mine.

He rolled onto his elbow and stared at me, his expression disapproving.

Howare you going to do this right?

 I took a deep breath. Responsibly. Everything in the right order. I will not leave Charlie and Ren?e
without the best resolution I can give them. I wont deny Alice her fun, if Im having a wedding anyway.
And Iwill tie myself to you in every human way, before I ask you to make me immortal. Im following all
the rules, Edward. Your soul is far, far too important to me to take chances with. Youre not going to
budge me on this.

Ill bet Icould,  he murmured, his eyes burning again.

But you wouldnt, I said, trying to keep my voice level. Not knowing that this is what I really need.

You dont fight fair, he accused.

I grinned at him. Never said I did.

He smiled back, wistful. If you change your mind . . .

Youll be the first to know, I promised.

 The rain started to drip through the clouds just then, a few scattered drops that made faintthuds as they
struck the grass.

I glowered at the sky.

Ill get you home. He brushed the tiny beads of water from my cheeks.

Rains not the problem, I grumbled. It just means that its time to go do something that will be very
unpleasant and possibly even highly dangerous.

His eyes widened in alarm.

Its a good thing youre bulletproof. I sighed. Im going to need that ring. Its time to tell Charlie.
 He laughed at the expression on my face. Highly dangerous, he agreed. He laughed again and then
reached into the pocket of his jeans. But as least theres no need for a side trip.

He once again slid my ring into place on the third finger of my left hand.

Where it would stay  conceivably for the rest of eternity.



EPILOGUE  CHOICE

JACOBBLACK

Jacob, do you think this is going to take too much longer? Leah demanded. Impatient. Whiney.

My teeth clenched together.

 Like anyone in the pack, Leah knew everything. She knew why I came here  to the very edge of the
earth and sky and sea. To be alone. She knew that this was all I wanted. Just to be alone.

But Leah was going to force her company on me, anyway.

 Besides being crazy annoyed, I did feel smug for a brief second. Because I didnt even have to think
about controlling my temper. It was easy now, something I just did, natural. The red haze didnt wash
over my eyes. The heat didnt shiver down my spine. My voice was calm when I answered.

Jump off a cliff, Leah. I pointed to the one at my feet.

 Really, kid. She ignored me, throwing herself into a sprawl on the ground next to me. You have no
idea how hard this is for me.

Foryou ? It took me a minute to believe she was serious. You have to be the most self-absorbed
person alive, Leah. Id hate to shatter the dream world you live in  the one where the sun is orbiting the
place where you stand  so I wont tell you how little I care what your problem is.Go. Away. 

Just look at this from my perspective for a minute, okay? she continued as if I hadnt said anything.

If she was trying to break my mood, it worked. I started laughing. The sound hurt in strange ways.

Stop snorting and pay attention, she snapped.

If I pretend to listen, will you leave? I asked, glancing over at the permanent scowl on her face. I
wasnt sure if she had any other expressions anymore.

 I remembered back to when I used to think that Leah was pretty, maybe even beautiful. That was a long
time ago. No one thought of her that way now. Except for Sam. He was never going to forgive himself.
Like it was his fault that shed turned into this bitter harpy.

Her scowl heated up, as if she could guess what I was thinking. Probably could.
 This is making me sick, Jacob. Can you imagine what this feels like tome ? I dont evenlike Bella
Swan. And youve got me grieving over this leech-lover like Im in love with her, too. Can you see where
that might be a little confusing? I dreamed about kissing her last night! What the hell am I supposed to do
withthat ?

Do I care?

I cant stand being in your head anymore! Get over her already! Shes going tomarry that thing. Hes
going to try to change her into one of them! Time to move on, boy.

Shutup,  I growled.

It would be wrong to strike back. I knew that. I was biting my tongue. But shed be sorry if she didnt
walk away. Now.

 Hell probably just kill her anyway, Leah said. Sneering. All the stories say that happens more often
than not. Maybe a funeral will be better closure than a wedding. Ha.

 This time I had to work. I closed my eyes and fought the hot taste in my mouth. I pushed and shoved
against the slide of fire down my back, wrestling to keep my shape together while my body tried to shake
apart.

When I was in control again, I glowered at her. She was watching my hands as the tremors slowed.
Smiling.

Some joke.

If youre upset about gender confusion, Leah . . . , I said. Slow, emphasizing each word. How do
you think the rest of us like looking at Sam through your eyes? Its bad enough that Emily has to deal
withyour fixation. She doesnt need us guys panting after him, too.

Pissed as I was, I still felt guilty when I watched the spasm of pain shoot across her face.

 She scrambled to her feet  pausing only to spit in my direction  and ran for the trees, vibrating like a
tuning fork.

I laughed darkly. You missed.

 Sam was going to give me hell for that, but it was worth it. Leah wouldnt bug me anymore. And Id do
it again if I had the chance.

 Because her words were still there, scratching themselves into my brain, the pain of it so strong that I
could hardly breathe.

 It didnt matter so much that Bellad chosen someone else over me. That agony was nothing at all. That
agony I could live with for the rest of my stupid, too long, stretched-out life.

But it did matter that she was giving up everything  that she was letting her heart stop and her skin ice
over and her mind twist into some crystallized predators head. A monster. A stranger.

I would have thought there was nothing worse than that, nothing more painful in the whole world.
But, if hekilled her . . .

 Again, I had to fight the rage. Maybe, if not for Leah, it would be good to let the heat change me into a
creature who could deal with it better. A creature with instincts so much stronger than human emotions.
An animal who couldnt feel pain in the same way. A different pain. Some variety, at least. But Leah was
running now, and I didnt want to share her thoughts. I cussed her under my breath for taking away that
escape, too.

 My hands were shaking in spite of me. What shook them? Anger? Agony? I wasnt sure what I was
fighting now.

 I had to believe that Bella would survive. But that required trust  a trust I didnt want to feel, a trust in
that bloodsuckers ability to keep her alive.

 She would be different, and I wondered how that would affect me. Would it be the same as if she had
died, to see her standing there like a stone? Like ice? When her scent burned in my nostrils and triggered
the instinct to rip, to tear . . . How would that be? Could I want to killher ? Could I not want to kill one
ofthem ?

I watched the swells roll toward the beach. They disappeared from sight under the edge of the cliff, but I
heard them beat against the sand. I watched them until it was late, long after dark.

Going home was probably a bad idea. But I was hungry, and I couldnt think of another plan.

I made a face as I pulled my arm through the retarded sling and grabbed my crutches. If only Charlie
hadnt seen me that day and spread the word of my motorcycle accident. Stupid props. I hated them.

 Going hungry started to look better when I walked in the house and got a look at my dads face. He had
something on his mind. It was easy to tell  he always overdid it. Acted all casual.

 He also talked too much. He was rambling about his day before I could get to the table. He never
jabbered like this unless there was something that he didnt want to say. I ignored him as best I could,
concentrating on the food. The faster I choked it down . . .

 . . . and Sue stopped by today. My dads voice was loud. Hard to ignore. As always. Amazing
woman. Shes tougher than grizzlies, that one. I dont know how she deals with that daughter of hers,
though. Now Sue, she would have made one hell of a wolf. Leahs more of a wolverine. He chuckled at
his own joke.

He waited briefly for my response, but didnt seem to see my blank, bored-out-of-my-mind expression.
Most days that bugged him. I wished he would shut up about Leah. I was trying not to think about her.

Seths a lot easier. Of course, you were easier than your sisters, too, until . . . well, you have more to
deal with than they did.

I sighed, long and deep, and stared out the window.

Billy was quiet for a second too long. We got a letter today.

I could tell that this was the subject hed been avoiding.
A letter?

A . . . wedding invitation.

Every muscle in my body locked into place. A feather of heat seemed to brush down my back. I held
onto the table to keep my hands steady.

Billy went on like he hadnt noticed. Theres a note inside thats addressed to you. I didnt read it.

He pulled a thick ivory envelope from where it was wedged between his leg and the side of his
wheelchair. He laid it on the table between us.

You probably dont need to read it. Doesnt really matter what it says.

Stupid reverse psychology. I yanked the envelope off the table.

 It was some heavy, stiff paper. Expensive. Too fancy for Forks. The card inside was the same, too
done-up and formal. Bellad had nothing to do with this. There was no sign of her personal taste in the
layers of see-through, petal-printed pages. Id bet she didnt like it at all. I didnt read the words, not
even to see the date. I didnt care.

There was a piece of the thick ivory paper folded in half with my name handwritten in black ink on the
back. I didnt recognize the handwriting, but it was as fancy as the rest of it. For half a second, I
wondered if the bloodsucker was into gloating.

I flipped it open.

Jacob,

 Im breaking the rules by sending you this. She was afraid of hurting you, and she didnt want to make
you feel obligated in any way. But I know that, if things had gone the other way, I would have wanted the
choice.

I promise I will take care of her, Jacob. Thank you  for her  for everything.

Edward

Jake, we only have the one table, Billy said. He was staring at my left hand.

 My fingers were clamped down on the wood hard enough that it really was in danger. I loosened them
one by one, concentrating on that action alone, and then clenched my hands together so I couldnt break
anything.

Yeah, doesnt matter anyway, Billy muttered.

I got up from the table, shrugging out of my t-shirt as I stood. Hopefully Leah had gone home by now.

Not too late, Billy mumbled as I punched the front door out of my way.

I was running before I hit the trees, my clothes strewn out behind me like a trail of crumbs  as if I
wanted to find my way back. It was almost too easy now to phase. I didnt have to think. My body
already knew where I was going and, before I asked it to, it gave me what I wanted.

I had four legs now, and I was flying.

 The trees blurred into a sea of black flowing around me. My muscles bunched and released in an
effortless rhythm. I could run like this for days and I would not be tired. Maybe, this time, I wouldnt
stop.

But I wasnt alone.

So sorry,Embry whispered in my head.

 I could see through his eyes. He was far away, to the north, but he had wheeled around and was racing
to join me. I growled and pushed myself faster.

Wait for us,Quil complained. He was closer, just starting out from the village.

Leave me alone,I snarled.

 I could feel their worry in my head, try hard as I might to drown it in the sound of the wind and the
forest. This was what I hated most  seeing myself through their eyes, worse now that their eyes were
full of pity. They saw the hate, but they kept running after me.

A new voice sounded in my head.

Let him go.Sams thought was soft, but still an order. Embry and Quil slowed to a walk.

If only I could stop hearing, stop seeing what they saw. My head was so crowded, but the only way to
be alone again was to be human, and I couldnt stand the pain.

Phase back,Sam directed them.Ill pick you up, Embry.

First one, then another awareness faded into silence. Only Sam was left.

Thank you,I managed to think.

Come home when you can.The words were faint, trailing off into blank emptiness as he left, too. And I
was alone.

 So much better. Now I could hear the faint rustle of the matted leaves beneath my toenails, the whisper
of an owls wings above me, the ocean  far, far in the west  moaning against the beach. Hear this,
and nothing more. Feel nothing but speed, nothing but the pull of muscle, sinew, and bone, working
together in harmony as the miles disappeared behind me.

If the silence in my head lasted, I would never go back. I wouldnt be the first one to choose this form
over the other. Maybe, if I ran far enough away, I would never have to hear again. . . .

I pushed my legs faster, letting Jacob Black disappear beh