 was loud when I got inside. I briefly considered trying to sneak past him.

Could you come in here, Bella? Charlie called, sinking that plan.

My feet dragged as I took the five necessary steps.

Whats up, Dad?

Did you have a nice time tonight? he asked. He seemed ill at ease. I looked for hidden meanings in his
words before I answered.

Yes, I said hesitantly.

What did you do?

I shrugged. Hung out with Alice and Jasper. Edward beat Alice at chess, and then I played Jasper. He
buried me.

 I smiled. Edward and Alice playing chess was one of the funniest things Id ever seen. Theyd sat there
nearly motionless, staring at the board, while Alice foresaw the moves he would make and he picked the
moves she would make in return out of her head. They played most of the game in their minds; I think
theyd each moved two pawns when Alice suddenly flicked her king over and surrendered. It took all of
three minutes.

Charlie hit the mute button  an unusual action.

Look, theres something I need to say. He frowned, looking very uncomfortable.

 I sat still, waiting. He met my gaze for a second before shifting his eyes to the floor. He didnt say
anything more.

What is it, Dad?

He sighed. Im not good at this kind of thing. I dont know how to start. . . .

I waited again.

 Okay, Bella. Heres the thing. He got up from the couch and started pacing back and forth across the
room, looking as his feet all the time. You and Edward seem pretty serious, and there are some things
that you need to be careful about. I know youre an adult now, but youre still young, Bella, and there are
a lot of important things you need to know when you . . . well, when youre physically involved with 

 Oh, please,please no! I begged, jumping to my feet. Please tell me you are not trying to have a sex
talk with me, Charlie.

He glared at the floor. I am your father. I have responsibilities. Remember, Im just as embarrassed as
you are.

I dont think thats humanly possible. Anyway, Mom beat you to the punch about ten years ago.
Youre off the hook.
Ten years ago you didnt have a boyfriend, he muttered unwillingly. I could tell he was battling with his
desire to drop the subject. We were both standing up, looking at the floor, and facing away from each
other.

 I dont think the essentials have changed that much, I mumbled, and my face had to be as red as his.
This was beyond the seventh circle of Hades; even worse was realizing that Edward had known this was
coming. No wonder hed seemed so smug in the car.

 Just tell me that you two are being responsible, Charlie pled, obviously wishing a pit would open in the
floor so that he could fall in.

Dont worry about it, Dad, its not like that.

 Not that I dont trust you, Bella, but I know you dont want to tell me anything about this, and you
know I dont really want to hear it. I will try to be open-minded, though. I know the times have
changed.

I laughed awkwardly. Maybe the times have, but Edward is very old-fashioned. You have nothing to
worry about.

Charlie sighed. Sure he is, he muttered.

Ugh! I groaned. I really wish you were not forcing me to say this out loud, Dad.Really. But . . . I am
a . . . virgin, and I have no immediate plans to change that status.

We both cringed, but then Charlies face smoothed out. He seemed to believe me.

Can I go to bed, now?Please. 

In a minute, he said.

Aw, please, Dad? Im begging you.

The embarrassing parts over, I promise, he assured me.

 I shot a glance at him, and was grateful to see that he looked more relaxed, that his face was back to its
regular color. He sank down onto the sofa, sighing with relief that he was past the sex speech.

What now?

I just wanted to know how the balance thing is coming along.

 Oh. Good, I guess. I made plans with Angela today. Im going to help her with her graduation
announcements. Just us girls.

Thats nice. And what about Jake?

I sighed. I havent figured that one out yet, Dad.

Keep trying, Bella. I know youll do the right thing. Youre a good person.
Nice. So if I didnt figure out some way to make things right with Jacob, then I was abad person? That
was below the belt.

 Sure, sure, I agreed. The automatic response almost made me smile  it was something Id picked up
from Jacob. I even said it in the same patronizing tone he used with his own father.

Charlie grinned and turned the sound back on. He slumped lower into the cushions, pleased with his
nights work. I could tell he would be up with the game for a while.

Night, Bells.

See you in the morning! I sprinted for the stairs.

 Edward was long gone and he wouldnt be back until Charlie was asleep  he was probably out
hunting or something to pass the time  so I was in no hurry to undress for bed. I wasnt in the mood to
be alone, but I certainly wasnt going to go back downstairs to hang out with my Dad, just in case he
thought of some topic of sex education that he hadnt touched on before; I shuddered.

 So, thanks to Charlie, I was wound up and anxious. My homework was done and I didnt feel mellow
enough for reading or just listening to music. I considered calling Ren?e with the news of my visit, but
then I realized that it was three hours later in Florida, and she would be asleep.

I could call Angela, I supposed.

But suddenly I knew that it wasnt Angela that I wanted to talk to. That I needed to talk to.

 I stared at the blank black window, biting my lip. I dont know how long I stood there weighing the pros
against the cons  doing the right thing by Jacob, seeing my closest friend again, being a good person,
versus making Edward furious with me. Ten minutes maybe. Long enough to decide that the pros were
valid while the cons were not. Edward was only concerned about my safety, and I knew that there was
really no problem on that count.

 The phone wasnt any help; Jacob had refused to answer my phone calls since Edwards return.
Besides, I needed tosee him  see him smiling again the way he used to. I needed to replace that awful
last memory of his face warped and twisted by pain if I was ever going to have any peace of mind.

 I had an hour probably. I could make a quick run down to La Push and be back before Edward realized
I had gone. It was past my curfew, but would Charlie really care about that when Edward wasnt
involved? One way to find out.

I grabbed my jacket and shoved my arms through the sleeves as I ran down the stairs.

Charlie looked up from the game, instantly suspicious.

You care if I go see Jake tonight? I asked breathlessly. I wont stay long.

 As soon as I said Jakes name, Charlies expression relaxed into a smug smile. He didnt seem surprised
at all that his lecture had taken effect so quickly. Sure, kid. No problem. Stay as long as you like.

Thanks, Dad, I said as I darted out the door.
 Like any fugitive, I couldnt help looking over my shoulder a few times while I jogged to my truck, but
the night was so black that there really was no point. I had to feel my way along the side of the truck to
the handle.

My eyes were just beginning to adjust as I shoved my keys in the ignition. I twisted them hard to the left,
but instead of roaring deafeningly to life, the engine just clicked. I tried it again with the same results.

And then a small motion in my peripheral vision made me jump.

Gah! I gasped in shock when I saw that I was not alone in the cab.

Edward sat very still, a faint bright spot in the darkness, only his hands moving as he turned a mysterious
black object around and around. He stared at the object as he spoke.

Alice called, he murmured.

Alice! Damn. Id forgotten to account for her in my plans. He must have her watching me.

She got nervous when your future rather abruptly disappeared five minutes ago.

My eyes, already wide with surprise, popped wider.

 Because she cant see the wolves, you know, he explained in the same low murmur. Had you
forgotten that? When you decide to mingle your fate with theirs, you disappear, too. You couldnt know
that part, I realize that. But can you understand why that might make me a little . . . anxious? Alice saw
you disappear, and she couldnt even tell if youd come home or not. Your future got lost, just like theirs.

 Were not sure why this is. Some natural defense theyre born with? He spoke as if he were talking to
himself now, still looking at the piece of my trucks engine as he twirled it in his hands. That doesnt
seem entirely likely, since I havent had any trouble reading their thoughts. The Blacks at least. Carlisle
theorizes that its because their lives are so ruled by their transformations. Its more an involuntary
reaction than a decision. Utterly unpredictable, and it changes everything about them. In that instant when
they shift from one form to the other, they dont really even exist. The future cant hold them. . . .

I listened to his musing in stony silence.

 Ill put your car back together in time for school, in case youd like to drive yourself, he assured me
after a minute.

With my lips mashed together, I retrieved my keys and stiffly climbed out of the truck.

 Shut your window if you want me to stay away tonight. Ill understand, he whispered just before I
slammed the door.

I stomped into the house, slamming that door, too.

Whats wrong? Charlie demanded from the couch.

Truck wont start, I growled.
Want me to look at it?

No. Ill try it in the morning.

Want to use my car?

I wasnt supposed to drive his police cruiser. Charlie must be really desperate to get me to La Push.
Nearly as desperate as I was.

No. Im tired, I grumbled. Night.

 I stamped my way up the stairs, and went straight to my window. I shoved the metal frame roughly  it
crashed shut and the glass trembled.

I stared at the shivering black glass for a long moment, until it was still. Then I sighed, and opened the
window as wide as it would go.




3. MOTIVES

 THE SUN WAS SO DEEPLY BURIED BEHIND THE CLOUDSthat there was no way to tell if it
had set or not. After the long flight  chasing the sun westward so that it seemed unmoving in the sky 
it was especially disorienting; time seemed oddly variable. It took me by surprise when the forest gave
way to the first buildings, signaling that we were nearly home.

Youve been very quiet, Edward observed. Did the plane make you sick?

No, Im okay.

Are you sad to leave?

More relieved than sad, I think.

 He raised one eyebrow at me. I knew it was useless and  much as I hated to admit it  unnecessary
to ask him to keep his eyes on the road.

Ren?e is so much more . . .perceptive than Charlie in some ways. It was making me jumpy.

 Edward laughed. Your mother has a very interesting mind. Almost childlike, but very insightful. She
sees things differently than other people.

Insightful. It was a good description of my mother  when she was paying attention. Most of the time
Ren?e was so bewildered by her own life that she didnt notice much else. But this weekend shed been
paying plenty of attention to me.

 Phil was busy  the high school baseball team he coached was in the playoffs  and being alone with
Edward and me had only sharpened Ren?es focus. As soon as the hugs and squeals of delight were out
of the way, Ren?e began to watch. And as shed watched, her wide blue eyes had become first confused
and then concerned.
 This morning wed gone for a walk along the beach. She wanted to show off all the beauties of her new
home, still hoping, I think, that the sun might lure me away from Forks. Shed also wanted to talk with me
alone, and that was easily arranged. Edward had fabricated a term paper to give himself an excuse to
stay indoors during the day.

In my head, I went through the conversation again. . . .

 Ren?e and I ambled along the sidewalk, trying to stay in the range of the infrequent palm tree shadows.
Though it was early, the heat was smothering. The air was so heavy with moisture that just breathing in
and out was giving my lungs a workout.

Bella? my mother asked, looking out past the sand to the lightly crashing waves as she spoke.

What is it, Mom?

She sighed, not meeting my gaze. Im worried. . . .

Whats wrong? I asked, anxious at once. What can I do?

Its not me. She shook her head. Im worried about you . . . and Edward.

Ren?e finally looked at me when she said his name, her face apologetic.

Oh, I mumbled, fixing my eyes on a pair of joggers as they passed us, drenched with sweat.

You two are more serious than Id been thinking, she went on.

 I frowned, quickly reviewing the last two days in my head. Edward and I had barely touched  in front
of her, at least. I wondered if Ren?e was about to give me a lecture on responsibility, too. I didnt mind
that the way I had with Charlie. It wasnt embarrassing with my mom. After all, Id been the one giving
her that lecture time and time again in the last ten years.

 Theres something . . . strange about the way you two are together, she murmured, her forehead
creasing over her troubled eyes. The way he watches you  its so . . . protective. Like hes about to
throw himself in front of a bullet to save you or something.

I laughed, though I was still not able to meet her gaze. Thats a bad thing?

 No. She frowned as she struggled for the words. Its justdifferent . Hes very intense about you . . .
and very careful. I feel like I dont really understand your relationship. Like theres some secret Im
missing. . . .

 I think youre imagining things, Mom, I said quickly, struggling to keep my voice light. There was a
flutter in my stomach. Id forgotten how much my mothersaw . Something about her simple view of the
world cut through all the distractions and pierced right to the truth of things. This had never been a
problem before. Until now, there had never been a secret I couldnt tell her.

Its not just him. She set her lips defensively. I wish you could see how you move around him.

What do you mean?
 The way you move  you orient yourself around him without even thinking about it. When he moves,
even a little bit, you adjust your position at the same time. Like magnets . . . or gravity. Youre like a . . .
satellite, or something. Ive never seen anything like it.

She pursed her lips and stared down.

 Dont tell me, I teased, forcing a smile. Youre reading mysteries again, arent you? Or is it sci-fi this
time?

Ren?e flushed a delicate pink. Thats beside the point.

Found anything good?

Well, there was one  but that doesnt matter. Were talking about you right now.

You should stick to romance, Mom. You know how you freak yourself out.

Her lips turned up at the corners. Im being silly, arent I?

 For half a second I couldnt answer. Ren?e was so easily swayed. Sometimes it was a good thing,
because not all of her ideas were practical. But it pained me to see how quickly she caved in to my
trivializing, especially since she was dead right this time.

She looked up, and I controlled my expression.

Not silly  just being a mom.

She laughed and then gestured grandly toward the white sands stretching to the blue water.

And all this isnt enough to get you to move back in with your silly mom?

I wiped my hand dramatically across my forehead, and then pretended to wring my hair out.

You get used to the humidity, she promised.

You can get used to rain, too, I countered.

She elbowed me playfully and then took my hand as we walked back to her car.

 Other than her worries about me, she seemed happy enough. Content. She still looked at Phil with
goo-goo eyes, and that was comforting. Surely her life was full and satisfying. Surely she didnt miss me
that much, even now. . . .

Edwards icy fingers brushed my cheek. I looked up, blinking, coming back to the present. He leaned
down and kissed my forehead.

Were home, Sleeping Beauty. Time to awake.

We were stopped in front of Charlies house. The porch light was on and the cruiser was parked in the
driveway. As I examined the house, I saw the curtain twitch in the living room window, flashing a line of
yellow light across the dark lawn.

I sighed. Of course Charlie was waiting to pounce.

Edward must have been thinking the same thing, because his expression was stiff and his eyes remote as
he came to get my door for me.

How bad? I asked.

Charlies not going to be difficult, Edward promised, his voice level with no hint of humor. He missed
you.

My eyes narrowed in doubt. If that was the case, then why was Edward tensed as if for a battle?

My bag was small, but he insisted on carrying it into the house. Charlie held the door open for us.

Welcome home, kid! Charlie shouted like he really meant it. How was Jacksonville?

Moist. And buggy.

So Ren?e didnt sell you on the University of Florida?

She tried. But Id rather drink water than inhale it.

Charlies eyes flickered unwillingly to Edward. Did you have a nice time?

Yes, Edward answered in a serene voice. Ren?e was very hospitable.

Thats . . . um, good. Glad you had fun. Charlie turned away from Edward and pulled me in for an
unexpected hug.

Impressive, I whispered in his ear.

He rumbled a laugh. I really missed you, Bells. The food around here sucks when youre gone.

Ill get on it, I said as he let me go.

Would you call Jacob first? Hes been bugging me every five minutes since six oclock this morning. I
promised Id have you call him before you even unpacked.

I didnt have to look at Edward to feel that he was too still, too cold beside me. So this was the cause of
his tension.

Jacob wants to talk to me?

Pretty bad, Id say. He wouldnt tell me what it was about  just said it was important.

The phone rang then, shrill and demanding.

Thats him again, Id bet my next paycheck, Charlie muttered.
I got it. I hurried to the kitchen.

Edward followed after me while Charlie disappeared into the living room.

I grabbed the phone mid-ring, and twisted around so that I was facing the wall. Hello?

Youre back, Jacob said.

 His familiar husky voice sent a wave of wistfulness through me. A thousand memories spun in my head,
tangling together  a rocky beach strewn with driftwood trees, a garage made of plastic sheds, warm
sodas in a paper bag, a tiny room with one too-small shabby loveseat. The laughter in his deep-set black
eyes, the feverish heat of his big hand around mine, the flash of his white teeth against his dark skin, his
face stretching into the wide smile that had always been like a key to a secret door where only kindred
spirits could enter.

It felt sort of like homesickness, this longing for the place and person who had sheltered me through my
darkest night.

I cleared the lump from my throat. Yes, I answered.

Why didnt you call me? Jacob demanded.

His angry tone instantly got my back up. Because Ive been in the house for exactly four seconds and
your call interrupted Charlie telling me that youd called.

Oh. Sorry.

Sure. Now, why are you harassing Charlie?

I need to talk to you.

Yeah, I figured out that part all by myself. Go ahead.

There was a short pause.

You going to school tomorrow?

I frowned to myself, unable to make sense of this question. Of course I am. Why wouldnt I?

I dunno. Just curious.

Another pause.

So what did you want to talk about, Jake?

He hesitated. Nothing really, I guess. I . . . wanted to hear your voice.

 Yeah, I know. Imso glad you called me, Jake. I . . . But I didnt know what more to say. I wanted to
tell him I was on my way to La Push right now. And I couldnt tell him that.

I have to go, he said abruptly.
What?

Ill talk to you soon, okay?

But Jake 

He was already gone. I listened to the dial tone with disbelief.

That was short, I muttered.

Is everything all right? Edward asked. His voice was low and careful.

I turned slowly to face him. His expression was perfectly smooth  impossible to read.

I dont know. I wonder what that was about. It didnt make sense that Jacob had been hounding
Charlie all day just to ask me if I was going to school. And if hed wanted to hear my voice, then why did
he hang up so quickly?

Your guess is probably better than mine, Edward said, the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his
mouth.

 Mmm, I murmured. That was true. I knew Jake inside and out. It shouldnt be that complicated to
figure out his motivations.

 With my thoughts miles away  about fifteen miles away, up the road to La Push  I started combing
through the fridge, assembling ingredients for Charlies dinner. Edward leaned against the counter, and I
was distantly aware that his eyes were on my face, but too preoccupied to worry about what he saw
there.

The school thing seemed like the key to me. That was the only real question Jake had asked. And he
had to be after an answer to something, or he wouldnt have been bugging Charlie so persistently.

Why would my attendance record matter to him, though?

 I tried to think about it in a logical way. So, if Ihadnt been going to school tomorrow, what would be
the problem with that, from Jacobs perspective? Charlie had given me a little grief about missing a day of
school so close to finals, but Id convinced him that one Friday wasnt going to derail my studies. Jake
would hardly care about that.

 My brain refused to come up with any brilliant insights. Maybe I was missing some vital piece of
information.

 What could have changed in the past three days that was so important that Jacob would break his long
streak of refusing to answer my phone calls and contact me? What difference could three days make?

 I froze in the middle of the kitchen. The package of icy hamburger in my hands slipped through my numb
fingers. It took me a slow second to miss the thud it should have made against the floor.

 Edward had caught it and thrown it onto the counter. His arms were already around me, his lips at my
ear.
Whats wrong?

I shook my head, dazed.

Three days could change everything.

 Hadnt I just been thinking about how impossible college was? How I couldnt be anywhere near people
after Id gone through the painful three-day conversion that would set me free from mortality, so that I
could spend eternity with Edward? The conversion that would make me forever a prisoner to my own
thirst. . . .

 Had Charlie told Billy that Id vanished for three days? Had Billy jumped to conclusions? Had Jacob
really been asking me if I was still human? Making sure that the werewolves treaty was unbroken  that
none of the Cullens had dared to bite a human . . . bite, not kill . . . ?

But did he honestly think I would come home to Charlie if that was the case?

Edward shook me. Bella? he asked, truly anxious now.

I think . . . I think he was checking, I mumbled. Checking to make sure. That Im human, I mean.

Edward stiffened, and a low hiss sounded in my ear.

 Well have to leave, I whispered. Before. So that it doesnt break the treaty. We wont ever be able
to come back.

His arms tightened around me. I know.

Ahem. Charlie cleared his voice loudly behind us.

 I jumped, and then pulled free of Edwards arms, my face getting hot. Edward leaned back against the
counter. His eyes were tight. I could see worry in them, and anger.

If you dont want to make dinner, I can call for a pizza, Charlie hinted.

No, thats okay, Im already started.

Okay, Charlie said. He propped himself against the doorframe, folding his arms.

I sighed and got to work, trying to ignore my audience.

If I asked you to do something, would you trust me? Edward asked, an edge to his soft voice.

We were almost to school. Edward had been relaxed and joking just a moment ago, and now suddenly
his hands were clenched tight on the steering wheel, his knuckles straining in an effort not to snap it into
pieces.

I stared at his anxious expression  his eyes were far away, like he was listening to distant voices.

My pulse sped in response to his stress, but I answered carefully. That depends.
We pulled into the school lot.

I was afraid you would say that.

What do you want me to do, Edward?

I want you to stay in the car. He pulled into his usual spot and turned the engine off as he spoke. I
want you to wait here until I come back for you.

But . . .why ?

 That was when I saw him. He would have been hard to miss, towering over the students the way he did,
even if he hadnt been leaning against his black motorcycle, parked illegally on the sidewalk.

Oh.

 Jacobs face was a calm mask that I recognized well. It was the face he used when he was determined
to keep his emotions in check, to keep himself under control. It made him look like Sam, the oldest of the
wolves, the leader of the Quileute pack. But Jacob could never quite manage th