example, Embry.

Whats with Embry? I asked, surprised.

 His mother moved down from the Makah reservation seventeen years ago, when she was pregnant
with him. Shes not Quileute. Everyone assumed shed left his father behind with the Makahs. But then he
joined the pack.

So?

So the prime candidates for his father are Quil Ateara Sr., Joshua Uley, or Billy Black, all of them
married at that point, of course.

No! I gasped. Edward was right  this was exactly like a soap opera.

 Now Sam, Jacob, and Quil all wonder which of them has a half-brother. Theyd all like to think its
Sam, since his father was never much of a father. But the doubt is always there. Jacobs never been able
to ask Billy about that.

Wow. How did you get so much in one night?

The pack mind is mesmerizing. All thinking together and then separately at the same time. Theres so
much to read!

 He sounded faintly regretful, like someone whod had to put down a good book just before the climax. I
laughed.

The pack is fascinating, I agreed. Almost as fascinating as you are when youre trying to distract me.

His expression became polite again  a perfect poker face.

I have to be in that clearing, Edward.

No, he said in a very final tone.

A certain path occurred to me at that moment.
It wasnt so much that I had to be in the clearing. I just had to be where Edward was.

Cruel,I accused myself.Selfish, selfish, selfish! Dont do it!

 I ignored my better instincts. I couldnt look at him while I spoke, though. The guilt had my eyes glued to
the table.

Okay, look, Edward, I whispered. Heres the thing . . . Ive already gone crazy once. I know what
my limits are.And I cant stand it if you leave me again. 

 I didnt look up to see his reaction, afraid to know how much pain I was inflicting. I did hear his sudden
intake of breath and the silence that followed. I stared at the dark wooden tabletop, wishing I could take
the words back. But knowing I probably wouldnt. Not if it worked.

 Suddenly, his arms were around me, his hands stroking my face, my arms.He was comfortingme. The
guilt went into spiral mode. But the survival instinct was stronger. There was no question that he was
fundamental to my survival.

You know its not like that, Bella, he murmured. I wont be far, and it will be over quickly.

 I cant stand it, I insisted, still staring down. Not knowing whether or not youll come back. How do I
live through that, no matter how quickly its over?

He sighed. Its going to be easy, Bella. Theres no reason for your fears.

None at all?

None.

And everybody will be fine?

Everyone, he promised.

So theres no way at all that I need to be in the clearing?

Of course not. Alice just told me that theyre down to nineteen. Well be able to handle it easily.

 Thats right  you said it was so easy that someone could sit out, I repeated his words from last night.
Did you really mean that?

Yes.

It felt too simple  he had to see it coming.

So easy thatyou could sit out?

After a long moment of silence, I finally looked up at his expression.

The poker face was back.
I took a deep breath. So its one way or the other. Either there is more danger than you want me to
know about, in which case it would be right for me to be there, to do what I can to help. Or . . . its
going to be so easy that theyll get by without you. Which way is it?

He didnt speak.

 I knew what he was thinking of  the same thing I was thinking of. Carlisle. Esme. Emmett. Rosalie.
Jasper. And . . . I forced myself to think the last name. And Alice.

I wondered if I was a monster. Not the kind that he thought he was, but the real kind. The kind that hurt
people. The kind that had no limits when it came to what they wanted.

 What I wanted was to keep him safe, safe with me. Did I have a limit to what I would do, what I would
sacrifice for that? I wasnt sure.

You ask me to let them fight without my help? he said in a quiet voice.

Yes. I was surprised I could keep my voice even, I felt so wretched inside. Or to let me be there.
Either way, so long as were together.

 He took a deep breath, and then exhaled slowly. He moved his hands to place them on either side of my
face, forcing me to meet his gaze. He looked into my eyes for a long time. I wondered what he was
looking for, and what it was that he found. Was the guilt as thick on my face as it was in my stomach 
sickening me?

 His eyes tightened against some emotion I couldnt read, and he dropped one hand to pull out his phone
again.

Alice, he sighed. Could you come babysit Bella for a bit? He raised one eyebrow, daring me to
object to the word. I need to speak with Jasper.

She evidently agreed. He put the phone away and went back to staring at my face.

What are you going to say to Jasper? I whispered.

Im going to discuss . . . me sitting out.

It was easy to read in his face how difficult the words were for him.

Im sorry.

 Iwas sorry. I hated to make him do this. Not enough that I could fake a smile and tell him to go on
ahead without me. Definitely not that much.

Dont apologize, he said, smiling just a little. Never be afraid to tell me how you feel, Bella. If this is
what you need . . . He shrugged. You are my first priority.

I didnt mean it that way  like you have to choose me over your family.

 I know that. Besides, thats not what you asked. You gave me two alternatives that you could live with,
and I chose the one thatI could live with. Thats how compromise is supposed to work.
I leaned forward and rested my forehead against his chest. Thank you, I whispered.

Anytime, he answered, kissing my hair. Anything.

 We didnt move for a long moment. I kept my face hidden, pressed against his shirt. Two voices
struggled inside me. One that wanted to be good and brave, and one that told the good one to keep her
mouth shut.

Whos the third wife? he asked me suddenly.

Huh? I said, stalling. I didnt remember having had that dream again.

You were mumbling something about the third wife last night. The rest made a little sense, but you lost
me there.

Oh. Um, yeah. That was just one of the stories that I heard at the bonfire the other night. I shrugged. I
guess it stuck with me.

 Edward leaned away from me and cocked his head to the side, probably confused by the uncomfortable
edge to my voice.

Before he could ask, Alice appeared in the kitchen doorway with a sour expression.

Youre going to miss all the fun, she grumbled.

Hello, Alice, he greeted her. He put one finger under my chin and tilted my face up to kiss me
goodbye.

Ill be back later tonight, he promised me. Ill go work this out with the others, rearrange things.

Okay.

Theres not much to arrange, Alice said. I already told them. Emmett is pleased.

Edward sighed. Of course he is.

He walked out the door, leaving me to face Alice.

She glared at me.

Im sorry, I apologized again. Do you think this will make it more dangerous for you?

She snorted. You worry too much, Bella. Youre going to go prematurely gray.

Why are you upset, then?

 Edward is such a grouch when he doesnt get his way. Im just anticipating living with him for the next
few months. She made a face. I suppose, if it keeps you sane, its worth it. But I wish you could
control the pessimism, Bella. Its so unnecessary.
Would you let Jasper go without you? I demanded.

Alice grimaced. Thats different.

Sure it is.

 Go clean yourself up, she ordered me. Charlie will be home in fifteen minutes, and if you look this
ragged hes not going to want to let you out again.

 Wow, Id really lost the whole day. It felt like such a waste. I was glad I wouldnt always have to
squander my time with sleeping.

I was entirely presentable when Charlie got home  fully dressed, hair decent, and in the kitchen putting
his dinner on the table. Alice sat in Edwards usual place, and this seemed to make Charlies day.

Howdy, Alice! How are you, hon?

Im fine, Charlie, thanks.

 I see you finally made it out of bed, sleepyhead, he said to me as I sat beside him, before turning back
to Alice. Everyones talking about that party your parents threw last night. Ill bet youve got one heck
of a clean-up job ahead of you.

Alice shrugged. Knowing her, it was already done.

It was worth it, she said. It was a great party.

Wheres Edward? Charlie asked, a little grudgingly. Is he helping clean up?

Alice sighed and her face turned tragic. It was probably an act, but it was too perfect for me to be
positive. No. Hes off planning the weekend with Emmett and Carlisle.

Hiking again?

 Alice nodded, her face suddenly forlorn. Yes. Theyreall going, except me. We always go
backpacking at the end of the school year, sort of a celebration, but this year I decided Id rather shop
than hike, and not one of them will stay behind with me. Im abandoned.

 Her face puckered, the expression so devastated that Charlie leaned toward her automatically, one hand
reaching out, looking for some way to help. I glared at her suspiciously. What was she doing?

Alice, honey, why dont you come stay with us, Charlie offered. I hate to think of you all alone in that
big house.

She sighed. Something squashed my foot under the table.

Ow! I protested.

Charlie turned to me. What?

Alice shot me a frustrated look. I could tell she thought that I was very slow tonight.
Stubbed my toe, I muttered.

Oh. He looked back at Alice. So, how bout it?

She stepped on my foot again, not quite so hard this time.

 Er, Dad, you know, we dont really have the best accommodations here. I bet Alice doesnt want to
sleep on my floor. . . .

Charlie pursed his lips. Alice pulled out the devastated expression again.

Maybe Bella should stay up there with you, he suggested. Just until your folks get back.

Oh, would you, Bella? Alice smiled at me radiantly. You dont mind shopping with me, right?

Sure, I agreed. Shopping. Okay.

When are they leaving? Charlie asked.

Alice made another face. Tomorrow.

When do you want me? I asked.

 After dinner, I guess, she said, and then put one finger to her chin, thoughtful. You dont have
anything going on Saturday, do you? I want to get out of town to shop, and it will be an all-day thing.

Not Seattle, Charlie interjected, his eyebrows pulling together.

 Of course not, Alice agreed at once, though we both knew Seattle would be plenty safe on Saturday.
I was thinking Olympia, maybe. . . .

Youll like that, Bella. Charlie was cheerful with relief. Go get your fill of the city.

Yeah, Dad. Itll be great.

With one easy conversation, Alice had cleared my schedule for the battle.

 Edward returned not much later. He accepted Charlies wishes for a nice trip without surprise. He
claimed they were leaving early in the morning, and said goodnight before the usual time. Alice left with
him.

I excused myself soon after they left.

You cant be tired, Charlie protested.

A little, I lied.

No wonder you like to skip the parties, he muttered. It takes you so long to recover.

Upstairs, Edward was lying across my bed.
What time are we meeting with the wolves? I murmured as I went to join him.

In an hour.

Thats good. Jake and his friends need to get some sleep.

They dont need as much as you do, he pointed out.

 I moved to another topic, assuming he was about to try to talk me into staying home. Did Alice tell you
that shes kidnapping me again?

He grinned. Actually, shes not.

I stared at him, confused, and he laughed quietly at my expression.

Im the only one who has permission to hold you hostage, remember? he said. Alice is going hunting
with the rest of them. He sighed. I guess I dont need to do that now.

Yourekidnapping me?

He nodded.

 I thought about that briefly. No Charlie listening downstairs, checking on me every so often. And no
houseful of wide-awake vampires with their intrusively sensitive hearing. . . . Just him and me  really
alone.

Is that all right? he asked, concerned by my silence.

Well . . . sure, except for one thing.

What thing? His eyes were anxious. It was mind-boggling, but, somehow, he still seemed unsure of his
hold on me. Maybe I needed to make myself more clear.

Why didnt Alice tell Charlie you were leavingtonight ? I asked.

He laughed, relieved.

 I enjoyed the trip to the clearing more than I had last night. I still felt guilty, still afraid, but I wasnt
terrified anymore. I could function. I could see past what was coming, and almost believe that maybe it
would be okay. Edward was apparently fine with the idea of missing the fight . . . and that made it very
hard not to believe him when he said this would be easy. He wouldnt leave his family if he didnt believe
it himself. Maybe Alice was right, and I did worry too much.

We got to the clearing last.

 Jasper and Emmett were already wrestling  just warming up from the sounds of their laughter. Alice
and Rosalie lounged on the hard ground, watching. Esme and Carlisle were talking a few yards away,
heads close together, fingers linked, not paying attention.

It was much brighter tonight, the moon shining through the thin clouds, and I could easily see the three
wolves that sat around the edge of the practice ring, spaced far apart to watch from different angles.

 It was also easy to recognize Jacob; I would have known him at once, even if he hadnt looked up and
stared at the sound of our approach.

Where are the rest of the wolves? I wondered.

 They dont all need to be here. One would do the job, but Sam didnt trust us enough to just send
Jacob, though Jacob was willing. Quil and Embry are his usual . . . I guess you could call them his
wingmen.

Jacob trusts you.

Edward nodded. He trusts us not to try to kill him. Thats about it, though.

Are you participating tonight? I asked, hesitant. I knew this was going to be almost as hard for him as
being left behind would have been for me. Maybe harder.

Ill help Jasper when he needs it. He wants to try some unequal groupings, teach them how to deal with
multiple attackers.

He shrugged.

And a fresh wave of panic shattered my brief sense of confidence.

They were still outnumbered. I was making that worse.

I stared at the field, trying to hide my reaction.

 It was the wrong place to look, struggling as I was to lie to myself, to convince myself that everything
would work out as I needed it to. Because when I forced my eyes away from the Cullens  away from
the image of their play fighting that would be real and deadly in just a few days  Jacob caught my eyes
and smiled.

It was the same wolfy grin as before, his eyes scrunching the way they did when he was human.

It was hard to believe that, not so long ago, Id found the werewolves frightening  lost sleep to
nightmares about them.

 I knew, without asking, which of the others was Embry and which was Quil. Because Embry was clearly
the thinner gray wolf with the dark spots on his back, who sat so patiently watching, while Quil  deep
chocolate brown, lighter over his face  twitched constantly, looking like he was dying to join in the
mock fight. They werent monsters, even like this. They were friends.

 Friends who didnt look nearly as indestructible as Emmett and Jasper did, moving faster than cobra
strikes while the moonlight glinted off their granite-hard skin. Friends who didnt seem to understand the
danger involved here. Friends who were still somewhat mortal, friends who could bleed, friends who
could die. . . .

Edwards confidence was reassuring, because it was plain that he wasnt truly worried about his family.
But would it hurt him if something happened to the wolves? Was there any reason for him to be anxious,
if that possibility didnt bother him? Edwards confidence only applied to one set of my fears.

I tried to smile back at Jacob, swallowing against the lump in my throat. I didnt seem to get it right.

 Jacob sprang lightly to his feet, his agility at odds with his sheer mass, and trotted over to where Edward
and I stood on the fringe of things.

Jacob, Edward greeted him politely.

 Jacob ignored him, his dark eyes on me. He put his head down to my level, as he had yesterday,
cocking it to one side. A low whimper escaped his muzzle.

Im fine, I answered, not needing the translation that Edward was about to give. Just worried, you
know.

Jacob continued to stare at me.

He wants to know why, Edward murmured.

Jacob growled  not a threatening sound, an annoyed sound  and Edwards lips twitched.

What? I asked.

 He thinks my translations leave something to be desired. What he actually thought was, Thats really
stupid. What is there to be worried about? I edited, because I thought it was rude.

 I halfway smiled, too anxious to really feel amused. Theres plenty to be worried about, I told Jacob.
Like a bunch of really stupid wolves getting themselves hurt.

Jacob laughed his coughing bark.

Edward sighed. Jasper wants help. Youll be okay without a translator?

Ill manage.

 Edward looked at me wistfully for one minute, his expression hard to understand, then turned his back
and strode over to where Jasper waited.

I sat down where I was. The ground was cold and uncomfortable.

Jacob took a step forward, then looked back at me, and a low whine rose in his throat. He took another
half-step.

Go on without me, I told him. I dont want to watch.

Jacob leaned his head to the side again for a moment, and then folded himself on to the ground beside
me with a rumbling sigh.

Really, you can go ahead, I assured him. He didnt respond, he just put his head down on his paws.

I stared up at the bright silver clouds, not wanting to see the fight. My imagination had more than enough
fuel. A breeze blew through the clearing, and I shivered.

Jacob scooted himself closer to me, pressing his warm fur against my left side.

Er, thanks, I muttered.

After a few minutes, I leaned against his wide shoulder. It was much more comfortable that way.

 The clouds moved slowly across the sky, dimming and brightening as thick patches crossed the moon
and passed on.

Absently, I began pulling my fingers through the fur on his neck. That same strange humming sound that
hed made yesterday rumbled in his throat. It was a homey kind of sound. Rougher, wilder than a cats
purr, but conveying the same sense of contentment.

You know, I never had a dog, I mused. I always wanted one, but Ren?es allergic.

Jacob laughed; his body shook under me.

Arent you worried about Saturday at all? I asked.

He turned his enormous head toward me, so that I could see one of his eyes roll.

I wish I could feel that positive.

He leaned his head against my leg and started humming again. And it did make me feel just a little bit
better.

So weve got some hiking to do tomorrow, I guess.

He rumbled; the sound was enthusiastic.

It might be along hike, I warned him. Edward doesnt judge distances the way a normal person
does.

Jacob barked another laugh.

I settled deeper into his warm fur, resting my head against his neck.

 It was strange. Even though he was in this bizarre form, this felt more like the way Jake and I used to be
 the easy, effortless friendship that was as natural as breathing in and out  than the last few times Id
been with Jacob while he was human. Odd that I should find that again here, when Id thought this wolf
thing was the cause of its loss.

The killing games continued in the clearing, and I stared at the hazy moon.




20. COMPROMISE
EVERYTHING WAS READY.

 I was packed for my two-day visit with Alice, and my bag waited for me on the passenger seat of my
truck. Id given the concert tickets to Angela, Ben, and Mike. Mike was going to take Jessica, which
was exactly as Id hoped. Billy had borrowed Old Quil Atearas boat and invited Charlie down for some
open sea fishing before the afternoon game started. Collin and Brady, the two youngest werewolves,
were staying behind to protect La Push  though they were just children, both of them only thirteen.
Still, Charlie would be safer than anyone left in Forks.

 I had done all that I could do. I tried to accept that, and put the things that were outside of my control
out of my head, for tonight at least. One way or another, this would all be over in forty-eight hours. The
thought was almost comforting.

Edward had requested that I relax, and I was going to do my best.

 For this one night, could we try to forget everything besides just you and me? hed pleaded, unleashing
the full force of his eyes on me. It seems like I can never get enough time like that. I need to be with you.
Just you.

 That was not a hard request to agree to, though I knew that forgetting my fears would be much easier
said than done. Other matters were on my mind now, knowing that we had this night to be alone, and
that would help.

There were some things that had changed.

For instance, I was ready.

 I was ready to join his family and his world. The fear and guilt and anguish I was feeling now had taught
me that much. Id had a chance to concentrate on this  as Id gazed at the moon through the clouds
and rested against a werewolf  and I knew I would not panic again. The next time something came at
us, I would be ready. An asset, not a liability. He would never have to make the choice between me and
his family again. We would be partners, like Alice and Jasper. Next time, I would do my part.

I would wait for the sword to be removed from over my head, so that Edward would be satisfied. But it
wasnt necessary. I was ready.

There was only one missing piece.

 One piece, because there were some things that hadnot changed, and that included the desperate way I
loved him. Id had plenty of time to think through the ramifications of Jasper and Emmetts bet  to
figure out the things I was willing to lose with my humanity, and the part that I was not willing to give up. I
knew which human experience I was going to insist on before I became inhuman.

So we had some things to work out tonight. After everything Id seen in the past two years, I didnt
believe in the wordimpossible anymore. It was going to take more than that to stop me now.

 Okay, well, honestly, it was probably going to be much more complicated than that. But I was going to
try.

As decided as I was, I wasnt surprised that I still felt nervous as I drove down the long path to his
house  I didnt know how to do what I was trying to do, and that guaranteed me some serious jitters.
He sat in the passenger seat, fighting a smile at my slow pace. I was surprised that he hadnt insisted on
taking the wheel, but tonight he seemed content to go at my speed.

 It was after dark when we reached the house. In spite of that, the meadow was bright in the light shining
from every window.

 As soon as I cut the engine he was at my door, opening it for me. He lifted me from the cab with one
arm, slinging my bag out of the truck bed and over his shoulder with the other. His lips found mine as I
heard him kick the trucks door shut behind me.

Without breaking the kiss, he swung me up so that I was cradled in his arms and carried me into the
house.

 Was the front door already open? I didnt know. We were inside, though, and I was dizzy. I had to
remind myself to breathe.

 This kissing did not frighten me. It wasnt like before when I could feel the fear and panic leaking through
his control. His lips were not anxious, but enthusiastic now  he seemed as thrilled as I was that we had
tonight to concentrate on being together. He continued to kiss me for several minutes, standing there in
the entry; he seemed less guarded than usual, his mouth cold and urgent on mine.

 I began to feel cautiously optimistic. Perhaps getting what I wanted would not be as difficult as Id
expected it to be.

No, of course it was going to be just exactly that difficult.

With a low chuckle, he pulled me away, holding me at arms length.

Welcome home, he said, his eyes liquid and warm.

That sounds nice, I said, breathless.

He set me gently on my feet. I wrapped both my arms around him, refusing to allow any space between
us.

I have something for you, he said, his tone conversational.

Oh?

Your hand-me-down, remember? You said that was allowable.

Oh, thats right. I guess I did say that.

He chuckled at my reluctance.

Its up in my room. Shall I go get it?

His bedroom? Sure, I agreed, feeling quite devious as I wound my fingers through his. Lets go.

He must have been eager to give me my non-present, because human velocity was not fast enough for
him. He scooped me up again and nearly flew up the stairs to his room. He set me down at the door, and
darted into his closet.

He was back before Id 